Crikey, Mort Said What?! Aussie Slang & Local Legends Hidden in Double Tap
From the Gold Coast JW Marriott to dodgy deals in Brisbane backstreets, Mortice: Double Tap isn’t just a pulse-pounding thriller — it’s packed tighter than a meat pie at the footy with Aussie slang. Mort’s sharp tongue and his crew’s quick banter give this high-stakes drama a laugh-out-loud local twist.
Let’s decode these 7 Aussieisms and where they show up in Book 5 — with exact page numbers and context for the diehards.
1. “Not Here to F Spiders”*
📍 Page 70
Scene: The crew’s just locked in their target. Pig’s pacing. Time’s tight. Mort glances at him and mutters the now-iconic:
“We’re not here to f spiders.”*
Pig grins. The plan is a go. This line is Aussie for “let’s stop wasting time” — and Mort doesn’t have patience for hesitation, especially not when there’s a rescue in motion.
2. “Flat Out Like a Lizard Drinking”
📍 Page 5
Scene: It’s chaos in paradise. Mort and Suzie are barely out of their hotel suite when a child vanishes. Without skipping a beat, Mort’s back in ops mode, rallying drones and calling the team — all before finishing his brekkie. This phrase nails the Aussie vibe: frantic, focused, and full of motion.
3. “Bugger Me”
📍 Page 20
Scene: Mort’s reviewing CCTV with Suzie. The footage confirms his gut feeling — they’ve got a lead. As the pieces fall into place:
“Bugger me,” I hadn’t seen that happening!
It’s a classic Aussie reaction — equal parts shock, sarcasm, and yep, a little admiration for the unfolding puzzle.
4. “Cheeky Bugger”
📍 Page 38
Scene: Post-rescue, Pig jokes about sending an invoice for their heroics. Mort, never one to resist a jab, rolls his eyes. That familiar mix of insult and affection? That’s Aussie gold. In Mort’s crew, “cheeky bugger” is code for I’d trust you with my life — but I’ll still take the piss.
5. “Full of Sh*t”
📍 Page 36
Scene: Mort’s winding up Hoang about Fijian customs, and Tia isn’t having it. She calls him out mid-sentence, laughing:
“He’s full of sht!”*
A perfectly placed callout that cuts through Mort’s tall tales — and lets us see how this team balances strategy with sass.
6. “Bloody” (For Emphasis)
📍 Page 30
Scene: The team’s in the thick of it, mid-rescue. They’ve confronted kidnappers, and the emotions are raw:
“Makes me bloody angry too.”
It’s the kind of line that hits harder than a punch — not because of profanity, but because it shows just how personal this case is getting.
7. “Hurry Up and Wait”
📍 Page 168
Scene: Mort and Pig are embedded in a high stakes drug op, tracking a massive cocaine shipment. But despite their readiness, the timing isn’t theirs to control. MGC acknowledges the irony:
“Alright, I get the hurry up and wait situation.”
It’s a military favourite — and no surprise it made its way into Mort’s tactical world. It’s not just about action. It’s about patience… the deadly kind.
About Mortice: Double Tap
In the fifth instalment of the Mortice series, Mort’s wedding is barely behind him when a devastating kidnapping launches him into one of his most dangerous investigations yet. What starts as a missing child on the Gold Coast spirals into international trafficking, dark money deals, and a race against time. With Pig, Suzie, Maria, and the crew back in action, this story blends Aussie grit, clever justice, and emotional punch — all delivered with Mort’s trademark wit.
Spotted More Aussie Gold?
Think we missed a gem? Drop it in the comments. Better yet, grab Book 5’s first chapter with the password Mortice and see if you can spot more Mort-isms hidden in plain sight.
Because let’s face it — Mort’s world might be full of danger, but it’s also full of laughs. And that, mate, is what makes it worth the ride.